my creative and entrepreneurial debut...oh yeahhh!

7 February 2011

I'm totally aware that I haven't posted in a while, contrary to my resolution for the new year. However, there's good reason. I've been pretty busy *cue trumpets* making my entrepreneurial debut!!

Besides selling credit cards to ridiculously poor and financially illiterate people at retail stores (which made me feel totally terrible and immoral), I've never sold anything before, that is...until the other day! I just opened a shop on Etsy.com, a site that allows people from across the world to buy and sell all things homemade. Photographs, home decor, purses, wrapping paper, you name it, an Etsy seller somewhere probably provides it. 

While I've been lurking around the site for a while, wishing I could someday too offer some of my creative talents, I just recently (thanks mostly to a super supportive boyfriend) summoned up the courage to open shop and offer something I've always loved making...greeting cards!

Somewhat channeling Mr. Deeds, my line, new modern love, is a greeting card line for the young and playful at heart. It offers a fresh approach to saying "I love you" in a sincere, quirky, comical and charming way.

I've always been very humble about any of my work, and I'm often afraid to share it with people, but, let me tell you, the feeling of checking your E-mail to discover that someone bought an example of your creative pursuits is...sensational! Selling something you're passionate about is seriously one of the  best feelings possible.  And I suppose I just have to let go of that fear and believe in my abilities.

I'm learning to apply what I absorbed from recently watching Banksy's "Exit Through the Gift Shop," which is basically the story of the rise of french immigrant Thierry Guetta from camera-obsessed family man to a well-endorsed and publicized street artist known as Mr. Brainwash. Really, all it took to catapult this guy to a high degree of fame was total confidence. Even though many, including myself, dislike his style and question his artistic motivations, the guy has become huge. Confidence, you're a wonderful thing.

I've attached some images and a link to the site; feel free to explore...all of Etsy. It's a wonderful showcase for amazing artistic talent. And I hope you can follow me along on my creative pursuits.

Cheers!

Meditation: Take One

16 January 2011

Since arriving in Madrid, I've lacked the energy required to hoist my body up and out of bed like a normal person each day, resulting in a new and abnormal morning ritual of literally rolling out of bed after groggily responding to my eleventh snooze alarm.

I guess that's what happens when you finally fall asleep at 4:00 a.m. and still try to wake yourself up before 7:00?

I attribute it to the torrent of thoughts stewing in my mind and my usual case of January blues. I'm at another fork in the road, and I've really got to figure out where I want my life to go over the course of the next few months. I'm torn in so many different directions, and, man, it's stressful.

So, after the thirty or so minutes it took for my mind to put together coherent thoughts this morning, I decided to make plans for the day to do something new to alleviate my stress. I decided to meditate.

Now, I don't know where this idea came from. I've never meditated before, and, honestly, I've never wanted to. But, I'll remind you, I've been running on minimal zzz's. 

Meditation, the practice of deeply focusing on calming the body and mind, requires a still body, an unwavering mind and completely focused concentration. I am terrible at all of these things. My mind is constantly wandering off on different tangents and I have perpetual ants in my pants. I have tried Wii Fit's Lotus Focus, a game with the objective of sitting still on the Wii Balance Board to keep an onscreen candle aflame. Move the slightest muscle and the light extinguishes. That's one of the hardest games I've ever played. I fail every time after about five seconds. I'd totally rather run and jump and sweat and grunt through it all. But not today. Today I found a sunny patch on a grassy knoll in el Parque Oeste and parked it for my first meditation session ever.

I researched basic meditation for beginners online and found that one of the most elemental requisites is that the meditator close his or her eyes and sit in a comfortable position with a straight back to promote focus and awareness. It's vital to breathe slowly and deeply, concentrating solely on each breath, each inhale and each exhale, and nothing else. The case of the wandering mind is expected upon first try, but one must try to immediately return to focus on breathing rather than react to tangent thoughts. A good meditation session can last around fifteen minutes.

For the first minute spent on my stake of grass, I felt like a total goob, wondering what passers-by must think of me. I felt vulnerable closing my eyes in the middle of a public park, and when I heard a dog collar jingle jangle nearby I feared for a brief moment that the canine would pee on me. Fortunately, he didn't, and I remained pee-free. 

Back to breathing. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. I imagined the air's path through my body. I tried to keep as still as possible while maintaining my proper posture. I took deeper and deeper breaths. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

I couldn't help my mind from wandering. From thinking of a good tapas place in the city to wondering why Albert Einstein is considered the greatest genius of all time and picturing the famous photo of him with his tongue sticking out to trying to estimate the number of people meditating, or attempting to meditate, worldwide at the exact same time as me, my mind was everywhere but where it should have been.

And, of course, the big questions crossed my mind. Where am I going to live in two months? What is my Personal Legend? What do I really want to be when I grow up? All the biggies that have been plaguing me into the wee hours of my mornings.

Despite my mind's many distractions, I did fall into a quiet state of serenity at one point and felt complete silence for a lengthy amount of time. I lulled into something; I wouldn't call it sleep. Perhaps I was actually meditating for a few minutes?! Crazier things have happened...

I opened my eyes, checked the time on my iPhone and realized I had been sitting in the grass for nineteen minutes. Time had gone by much faster than expected, and I felt significantly refreshed upon standing. Perhaps I really did take a short power nap; perhaps I tricked myself into thinking the meditation had worked. Whatever it was, I felt...different. I felt better.

Meditation wasn't as painful as I expected. I am pleasantly surprised at how equally peaceful and alive I felt upon finishing up. It was a rewarding experience. For now, I'll conduct more research on the benefits and art of meditation, and I'll surely try it again in the near future. I am intrinsically drawn to more assertive forms of stress-relief like cardio exercise or blasting music, but I will surely consider meditation as an alternative next time. I'm glad I gave it a try, and hopefully I'll be able to use it as a tool to reduce stress and anxiety and increase my creativity and understanding of my place in the world.

2010 in Retrospect

13 January 2011


2010 was, at times, the scariest, loneliest and most confusing year of my life. I quit my job I'd worked so hard to attain as a copywriter, a career move many described as "purely stupid" and moved 2,200 miles away to live with a strange family I'd never met before to take care of a two-year-old. (Good way to put my hard-earned Advertising degree to work, huh?) I left everyone that made me feel safe and loved: my family, friends, dog and boyfriend. I packed up a suitcase, prayed that God would help me out and left for the biggest adventure of my life.

Through all the tears, lonely nights and "Lost in Translation" moments, 2010 became the best year of my life yet. I became stronger. I became more independent. I became closer to being the woman I've always wanted to be. I did more than survive; I thrived. I made new friends, met beautiful people and learned something from everyone who entered my life. I evolved from a girl who had never publicly eaten a meal on her own to a woman who could enter a bar alone, talk to anyone sitting nearby and, by the end of the night, have had one of the best nights ever.

2010 was good to me. I fulfilled my dream of living in Barcelona. I drank wine and felt wildly alive in Paris. I prowled the canals of Amsterdam by night. I ate gelato with nuns in Rome. 

I partied way too hard in New Orleans and listened to 80s cover bands on Bourbon Street. I got healthy in Toronto. I ran. I ate (mostly) gluten-free. I hiked to high altitudes and experienced the most beautiful sunsets of my life in Santa Fe.

I was blessed enough to be able to spend time with my dad. I visited family I haven't seen in over a decade. I learned about my family history. I shot guns in El Paso. I caught my first fish and ate it the following day.

I cruised the Western Caribbean, consuming seafood, decadent desserts and wine like it was my job. I went scuba diving in Cozumel...and didn't die. I swam with stingrays and dolphins. I improved my Spanish skills.

I got a tan. I survived a winter in Chicago. I traveled to other states and countries independently. I bought drinks for strangers. I looked into the eyes of people I spoke to. I danced. I sang. I painted. I took photos.

I stayed out all night. I went to bed early and woke up before the sun. I talked a lot. I spent time alone. I read a mountain of books. I prayed.

I spent less time on my appearances. I stargazed. I volunteered. I slept on the beach. I broke some hearts. I went to the opera. I made friends on the Metro. I started work on my first Etsy shop. I admired art for hours in some of the world's best museums.

I watched "Dora the Explorer" more than I would have liked to. I kissed boo-boos to make them all better. I made blanket forts. I loved a two-year old.

I continued to learn about unselfish and true love. I laughed until I cried. I said "I love you" and meant it. I dreamed about my future. I followed my gut.

I can only hope 2011 will be half as fulfilling as this past year.I brought in the New Year in the snow, am currently staying in Madrid and am headed to New York City soon.


Wish me luck!